she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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