I just cut my nipple shaving
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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