Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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