I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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