JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
