tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
