i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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