I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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