just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
