you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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