So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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