There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
