Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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