This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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