Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
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I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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