i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
