The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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