you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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