Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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