You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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