I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
