OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
