how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize