I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
