420 ftw
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
