there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
