I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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