I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
