I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
