Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
