Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
