I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
