my sisters under your porch take her home
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
