People in love make me want to vomit
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
