remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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