He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We're too hungover to prance.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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