wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
