i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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