brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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