She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
