My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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