When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and she was petting her beer can
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Bring me that man meat
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
