I got chris browned last night
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
