and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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