I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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