We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize