I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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