NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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