If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
