Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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