We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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