this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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