Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
