Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
