can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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