I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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