Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
