What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
