Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
