he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
