Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
