this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
